Closed hands outline2/1/2024 ![]() Nevertheless, if my elders are any indication, many people come to recall the chaotic early years of parenting very fondly. In the United States (and in some but not all other advanced industrialized nations), becoming a parent takes a toll on well-being, which doesn’t recover until the kids leave the house. Research on parenting and happiness is mixed, but much of it suggests that child-rearing isn’t particularly enjoyable. It is a small comfort that I am not alone in struggling to relish this phase of parenthood. I wouldn’t say I’m cherishing every second. I rejoiced when my 3-year-old started preschool this fall. Things have gotten more manageable since, but I’ve never turned down an opportunity to get away from my kids for a couple of hours. Some stretches, particularly at the height of the pandemic, were nothing short of grueling. But there’s no question that the first few years of their lives have been the hardest of mine. I’ll stop to make the usual caveats: I love my daughters. Read: Becoming a parent during the pandemic was the hardest thing I’ve ever done Yet people feel compelled to give it, perhaps because it’s very difficult advice to follow. It’s simple-enough advice-so simple that it hardly seems worth saying at all. This is something parents of young children hear ad nauseam and in a variety of ways: Don’t blink cherish every second it will be gone in a flash. I nodded, smiled, and turned away to reach for something on a shelf, and she doubled down: “I’m serious, enjoy it. I was going about my usual business as a newly minted stay-at-home mom of two under 2-desperately cramming my to-do list into the brief and unpredictable windows between nursing sessions, diaper changes, and temper tantrums-when an older woman cut into my bleary-eyed view. It was the spring of 2019, and my then-four-month-old was in a car seat nestled into the shopping cart while her sister squirmed in the built-in seat. Most trips to the grocery store are not particularly memorable, but there’s one I’ll never forget. This article was featured in One Story to Read Today, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a single must-read from The Atlantic, Monday through Friday.
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